2010 - Blessed Year

Well, now that the holiday season is over, I’ve finally gotten a few moments of time to sit down and reminisce. 2010 has been a good year. The year opened with Music Man, a show that taught me more than ever, that when I am on stage, I am performing for an audience of One.
Next came Freeze Out at Lake Ann with my lovely Laura, where God urged me once again to be strong in living my faith. Soon came my first Calvary winter retreat, where God brought my heart once again to a place where I could surrender to Him. After getting end of school year stuff out of the way, such as Spring Concerts, Instrumental and Vocal S&Es, and Festivals, summer rushed in full blast, leading out with an amazingly fun marching band season.
In a rush came my first mission’s trip, to West Virginia, that changed my life in how God revealed to me my sin and His redemption, and how joyful and peaceful a life given fully to God can be. This was soon followed by summer camp at Lake Ann, summer Bible study and a marching band trip. Each event making it more evident to me how wonderful and fulfilling a life surrendered to God can be! Now, if only I could remember that and keep living that for the rest of the year, but alas. I fail at life so often, but never fear! God is still here! And He still loves me and picks me up when I fall…. Time and time again.
Anyways, with the fall came of course school, and band and orchestra and choir… and…. most excitingly…. THEATER! But theater wasn’t as it seemed. This year, theater brought to me one of the hardest decisions I have ever made in my life, and once again, when I had fallen away from God’s leading, God picked me up and led me to surrender my life and my ambitions fully to Him. Even though I didn’t understand, and even though it meant giving up everything I had worked so hard for, He told me it was for the best. So, I trusted Him and gave my life over to Him once more. And God took that surrendered heart and used it to for His glory.
I closed out my year playing Lily St. Regis in Annie at the Kalamazoo Civic. The blessings that came from that experience are too complex to even begin to explain here, but I have been blessed, very blessed. It humbling to realize that God uses me, lil’ me, who has time and time again, refused God and his help and tried to live life by myself and time and time again has fallen down, crying. But because of God’s great love, He has lifted me up once again and given me purpose and joy and love. I have been very blessed this past year, new friends, old friends, new experiences, new challenges, old challenges, new heights and new depths. Time and time again this year, I have taken my life into my own hands and soon after fallen into a steep valley, but time and time again, God has taken my hand and lifted me up, to heights where the view is fantastic. And I praise God, for giving me this wonderful view.
So, now a new year has begun. 2011. Looking back on the past year, I’ve had my ups and downs, but I’ve been immensely blessed. As I think back, I remember things that I have taken for granted, things that I should have been grateful for and wasn’t and that only makes my wonder at why God has blessed me even so much more. I don’t understand why God has blessed me even amidst my failings and rebellions, but I know He has. I don’t understand why He loves me, but I know He does. And that’s what I’m going to take into this next year, the knowledge that God loves me that God has blessed me.
I don’t know what this next year holds, but no matter what may come, I will remember how God has blessed a wretch like me and be thankful for His constant, never-ending love for me.